The 6 Non-Linear Twin Flame Stages Explained (Which Stage Are You Stuck In?)
Identify the Stages and Understand the Purpose of Each
The twin flame journey is often portrayed as a romantic fairytale, where two souls merge, overcome all obstacles, and live happily ever after.
But as a twin flame expert who sees a different story all the time, I’m here to tell you that the real magic of this journey isn’t in reuniting with your twin flame. It’s in what comes after, the stage that most people leave out: Expansion.
First, let’s start with the stages of the twin flame dynamic.
6Twin Flame Stages
Stage 1: Portal Opens (First Meeting): Will feel an instant connection, chemistry, and love. Both will feel incredible healing energy from the portal that was opened from meeting their twin. There will be a 10 to 20% instant healing and upleveling just from interacting and allowing in the twin. First taste of that twin flame crack! haha. The energy coming out of the portal feels like home, connectedness, pure love, and perfect. Huge body sensations and possible big transitions happen in your life (you feel confident to quit your job, you go vegan, you end your marriage, etc). Your life will never be the same after this meeting. You’ll also see their name everywhere; 1111, 555, or 2222 are very common signs you’ve met your match. This is what you will try to get to for the rest of the journey, but there is no going back to this phase. You will feel temporary dips back into this, but the energy can’t ground here on Earth for long. Just enough for you to get forced into this journey.
Stage 2: Runner-Chaser (Avoidant and Anxious): back and forth, push and pull, disappear and reappear, hide and seek. You know this stage well. The runner feels completely overwhelmed by the emotions and feels out of control. The runner chooses to lean out and away. Runner must stay with their duty and obligations. Their avoidance is strong and they can compartmentalize. Chaser wants to dive in and feels a strong pull to bring the runner closer. Chaser comes up with theories on why the runner runs and develops their own treatment plan for their runner. haha Chaser finds way to stay connected through messages, social media tracking, etc. Chaser longs deeply to get back with the runner.
Stage 3: The Crisis Point (When Attachment Wounds Take Over): There is a realization that the relationship has become toxic or the other partner is not coming around anymore. Time of great pain. Expect: Obsessive thoughts, desperate texts, crying, physical stress symptoms, struggling at work, etc. Feelings of despair, loneliness, hopelessness, suicidal thoughts, etc. Hours spent online researching twin flames. Going from hope to despair frequently. Looking to make reunion happen at any cost. Reaching out to psychics for confirmation. Sometimes the numbers like 1111 get even bolder and louder than ever before.
Stage 4: The Surrender Stage (Choosing Peace Over Obsession): Chaser realizes their controlling, codependent, and chasing ways don’t help the situation. Chaser becomes enlightened on the situation (frantically googling til coming across twin flame concept). Runner is allowed to run (meaning they can feel free from being super close to you) and then becomes enlightened that they want to be with another person (Sometimes this happens once, sometimes it’s over and over). Space helped them fight their demons or let them handle things they need to handle. We can not control if the runner finds surrender. We can’t know if it’s for their highest good to heal now or to continue living in pain.
Stage 5: Reunion (Two Ways!): 1. Actual 3D reunion: Both parties have learned their core lessons (on their own and while with their partner). They are ready to learn relationship skills to add to your already deep love and spiritual connection.
2. Internal reunion only. There is no guarantee of coming back together in this lifetime. You may realize this person will never be able to be with you. They are addicted, married, scared, unwilling to move, too busy, too something. They love you but can't be with you. This is when you find all the parts of you that were scattered and disconnected. You feel connected and loved inside of you, all because your twin left you. Your inner child no longer drives the bus.
Stage 6: The Expansion Stage (You Become Love): This is a phase that turns the wheel and helps you break free of the pain. I believe most twin flames do NOT end up together. And that is great news! TF are there to help you expand. Not to live happily ever after in a concept like girlfriend or wife. No great love story begins with .. oh he was married ... he didn't talk to me for 3 months.... she had a drinking problem.... In fact once I broke up with my twin flame energetically my life launched into this amazing space I could never go with him. You'll find you do all this personal work just so you can have a reunion. Then realize you don't want to get back with this person. You have way surpassed them.
Expansion is guaranteed. You will grow and change from this.
Many people get stuck in the earlier stages, chasing after their twin (really chasing their higher self or who they were in the beginning), hoping for a reunion that may never come.
They become consumed by the runner-chaser dynamic, the crisis of separation, and the endless hope for reunion. But what if the true purpose of your twin flame isn’t to stay with you forever, but to catalyze your growth and expansion?
I speak from experience when I say that the greatest gift a twin flame can give you is not their presence in your life, but the expansion that comes from their absence.
When I finally stopped projecting qualities onto my twin, imagining him as someone who wanted to grow, change, and embrace love, I saw him for who he truly was. And in that moment, a huge burden was lifted from my shoulders.
What’s the point of the twin flame journey if it’s so painful?
You see, the twin flame journey isn’t about holding on to someone who can’t or won’t be with you. It’s about recognizing the power within yourself. The love, the magic, the incredible feeling you get from your twin flame, it’s not something they give you. It’s something you create within yourself.
When you reach the final stage of the twin flame journey, expansion, you realize that you don’t need your twin flame to feel whole.
Yes, it’s easy to feel like they are your home, but you build something more than them. They are just flawed humans after all and we have very little control over others - even those who we are quantumly entangled with.
You’ve done the personal work, you’ve grown, and you’ve surpassed the person you were when you first met your twin. You’re no longer driven by hope for a reunion, but by the excitement of what comes next.
You become loyal to all the parts of you that you have abandoned (using IFS therapy techniques in hypnosis).
There are parts of you that can’t let go. Usually, these are “mother” and “healer” parts that feel like love must be earned by healing others. You’ll likely also find an inner child that has found their best friend and now must say goodbye.
Sometimes you have to drag yourself out, but you know there must be a better life out there.
So, if you’re struggling to get your twin flame to text you back or commit to you, take a step back. Consider how much you’ve already grown.
The real power of the twin flame journey lies in the expansion it sparks within you. It’s not about love, marriage, and happily ever after. It’s about growth, realizations, and launching yourself into the next amazing phase of your life.
In the end, you must choose yourself over the painful connection. If you find it too difficult to reach a place of surrender or gratitude, remember that growth is guaranteed.
You will come out of this journey stronger, wiser, and more connected to your true self, whether or not your twin flame is by your side.
