Why It Hurts So Much (Even If It Wasn’t “Official”)
When it comes to these deep soul connections, time means nothing.
You could spend 24 hours with someone and feel more impacted than by 24 years of marriage. It isn’t about a title, a contract, or how long you’ve known them—it’s the feeling of home they inspire.
That purity at the beginning and the way your soul lights up can mean more than any label society gives. But these strong feelings don’t necessarily mean this person is meant to build a life and an actual home with you on earth. This is where many twin flame journeys get too painful.
Why does it hurt so much then?
The inner child feels like it lost its best friend. That playful, trusting part of you suddenly feels abandoned. Feelings are facts to your inner child.
Collective trauma around abandonment surfaces. Old wounds get reactivated, making the grief even heavier. We are all transforming what love means in 2025.
A piece of you is left with them. You can’t access that love, peace, and feeling of home that is YOURS, since it becomes tied to them.
You are forced into your void for the first time. Without them you are thrust into the abyss of pain that exists in all of us. You move from pure light to pure dark. We spend a lot of time and energy avoiding the void.
There is no closure. Often twin flames just leave us and don’t tell us why. A long relationship has clear beginning, middle, and end that society and our friends can see and help us through.
This is why the obsession lingers and the grief cuts so deep, even if the connection wasn’t “official.”
Your soul knows what it felt. And what you felt was real.
The path forward is learning to hold onto that purity as your own and without attaching it to someone else’s choices or availability.
We can’t build a home inside someone else. The feeling is just that a feeling, which unfortunately, is everything to your inner child.
The only way to transform the pain is to go through it, identify it, validate it, understand it, make your home in the void, and reclaim all parts of you. Simple right? haha!
The solution is not to get that pure feeling of love back by regulating your nervous system through stalking their Instagram, sending them self-help books, waiting for them, becoming more feminine/masculine, casting spells, or using your logical mind to analyze everything.
Have some grace with yourself and realize that you may be experiencing something completely new to you and that the tools you used to get through other relationships or breakups will probably not work for this one.
Souls and worlds are colliding at rapid speeds these days, but unfortunately, these connections might not follow the typical boyfriend/girlfriend, then marriage model.