- Have you ever felt the “feeling of being at home” with someone?
- Have you ever been in love with someone yet it never seems to work out?
- Do you keep breaking up and getting back together?
- You’ve never felt this kind of connection before? You just know something is different about this person and this connection.
- Do you feel a connection to their soul? Or a spiritual connection?
- All your friends don’t understand how you can possibly still love a guy who is running away from you?
Well let me introduce you to the hippy dippy, new age concept of twin flames. The people who talk about it are the ones who speak to angels and have really sparkly flashy websites in outdated fonts…
But surprisingly even Plato mentioned twin flames in his work, and it even has a Wikipedia article. Basically this is the along the same line as soul mates. (You better wish you met your soul mate since you are supposed to meet and get married.)
Where do twin flames come from?
Of course since this isn’t a concrete thing, the descriptions vary from twin flame guru to guru. You and this person shared a soul, until at some point you split. Then apparently you have found each other after many lifetimes apart. This is why you feel at home with them. It’s a reconnecting of your soul. They may also be apart of your soul group - fragments of the same soul energy that come to earth to work out certain themes or complete missions.
How do they work?
When you first come together, it is always an intense connection. You will experience insane, out of this world sexual chemistry to keep you come back together, no matter how rough the circumstances are. You keep randomly bumping into each other, or have other weird synchronizations.
After the initial coming together there is a separation. There will be a runner and a chaser. The chaser will constantly pursue the other flame, wanting a relationship and to be together. This is likely to be the female energy. The runner is easily overwhelmed by the chemistry and the thought of this deep, intense relationship, so they get close and pull away repeatedly.
Some gurus say you aren’t actually guaranteed to end up with your twin flame in this life time. You have to work through all your karma first. This explains why nothing ever goes smoothly with twin flames. There is generally a struggle, separation, and lots of back and forth. Despite all of that and constantly swearing you are done, you will keep being drawn back to each other. They are your mirror. They mirror back all that you need to work on.
They bring up all your insecurities, and all your bad karma, help you learn all your hard lessons, and basically clean you out –spiritually.
On the flip side, they speed up your spiritual growth. Force you to put aside your ego and face your greatest fears. After meeting a twin flame there will be great transformation and healing in your life. You, the chaser, will have to give up control and surrender to god/universe your expectations of what the relationship will look like.
The point is to become whole within yourself first.
Then it is likely there will be a reunion.
What’s the difference between this and a regular true love relationship?
This is a relationship of two souls, not of two humans and regular love. You will find yourself redefining your idea of what love and relationships should look like. You will be pointed to all the areas in which you need to heal and take care of yourself. You will be personally transformed inside and out. Possibly finding your true self, trusting your intuition, and shedding your ego.
Other notable information:
There are apparently false twin flames, which clean you out to prepare you for your true twin flame.
Twin flames supposedly show up around the number 1111. Maybe lots of coincidences involving the number 1.
There are more twin flames reuniting now than ever before (apparently).
Most twin flames don't end up together. Which is a great thing! (see phases below).
Signs of a twin flame:
Generally the meeting and connection is so intense, it’s rarely a question of how have you met them or not.
- It will feel different than any other relationship.
- They come to you in your dreams.
- You know when they are sick, hurt, need help.
- Have a lot of unspoken communication/telepathy.
- You aren’t at your best when you aren’t together.
- It’s not smooth sailing – many obstacles for you to be together.
- Always end up reconnecting. The universe always brings you back together.
- Hot, intense sex.
- You will love them regardless of what happens. True unconditional love.
- No matter the pain always lots of healing and positive personal transformation.
- End the end always very grateful for meeting the person.
Stages of a Twin Flame relationship (these vary upon source):
1. Intense meeting- coming together. Will feel instant connection, chemistry, and love.
2. Runner-Chaser dynamic as described above.
3. Crisis – Separate so each person can work on their own individual problems. Time of great pain.
4. Surrender- Chaser realizes their controlling and chasing ways don’t help the situation. Likely becomes enlightened on the situation (frantically googling til coming across twin flame concept). Runner is allowed to run and then becomes enlightened that they want to be with other person.
5. Reunion – Both parties have learned all their lessons (on their own and while with the partner). They are whole and complete on their own. Not guaranteed to come back together in this life time.
6. Expansion - This is a phase I am adding to the twin flame literature. I believe most twin flames do NOT end up together. And that is great news! TF are there to help you expand. Not to live happily ever after. No great love story begins with .. oh he was married ... he didn't talk to me for 3 months.... she had a drinking problem.... In fact once I broke up with my twin flame my life launched into this amazing space I could never go with him. You'll find you do all this personal work just so you can have a reunion. Then realize you don't want to get back with this person. You have way surpassed them.
What twin flames aren’t:
They aren’t excuses for affairs or abusive relationships. You can meet your twin flame when one or both of you are married. You are not to divorce or cheat on your spouse. You weren’t meant to come together in this life time. You can send them healing thoughts or be with them on a spiritual level.
If your twin flame is abusive or neglectful. Or if you have to give up your family or children to be with them. You aren’t meant to be with them this life time either.
If you have any questions about twin flame relationships, please don't hesitate to email me or comment below.
*******Due do the high amount of emails I receive, I now offer twin flame relationship coaching (specializing in break ups). I'm able to provide much quicker and personalized responses. You can always still email me for advice for free, but it could be weeks before I get back to you. Thanks!********
Karen over at Why Twin Flames Run has books and reasonably priced readings about twin flame situations.
Ever had a twin flame? Think this is just an excuse for a crappy relationship or unavailable guy? What other questions do you have about twin flames?
Leave your twin flame story in the comments.