Does Missing Someone Mean That You Love Them?

 

OMG this guy is just like my twin….

 

Recently I met someone who is freakishly just like my twin - same age, car, zodiac sign, same physical features, same attitude and interests. We met on a dating app and as soon as I walked into the door it was an instant, “oh hey you!” My body literally vibrated and tears of joy and release streamed down my face.

 

However, this connection was vastly different than my twin.

 

It feels safe, fun, secure yet exciting and deep. He’s stable, I’m stable. We vibe, we flow, we are heading in the same direction. It’s easy!

 

My connection with my twin was intense, unstable, fireworks, pain, ecstasy, a complete feeling of coming home, like I found my other half. It was hard. It felt natural and real but it was hard.

 

I’ll never find a connection like my twins again. (That’s a good thing!)

 

I always say you won’t ever feel like you did with your twin because you won’t need that feeling anymore.

 

Once you move on from your twin, you will have found self-love, a deep connection with source, and be living a much more authentic life. (This is the only way to break the connection.) You won’t need to someone else to make you feel like you are home, safe and stable. You will connect to the ecstasy and joy in your day to day life.

 

You no longer limit it to just one person. It’s in everyone you meet, nature, adventure, and self exploration. Guidance, stability, and centeredness comes from connecting to your spirit and purpose in life. It no longer comes from getting goosebumps from your twins touch, their smell, or the rush of getting a text from them.

 

You no longer are dependent on a human. Thank goodness! As humans are unpredictable.

 

But I never miss this guy when he isn’t around.

 

Most people in twin relationships are very familiar with the sweet pain of missing their twin. Most twins come and go as they please and leave us with very long, painful periods of silence and uncertainty. It’s the classic runner chaser dynamic.

 

Of course finding our grounding and learning to soothe ourselves is the whole point of these periods of absence. Can you feel calm and grounded when you feel your world is being turned upside down? Can you know you ARE love and no one can take it away no matter how long they take to text back? Can you believe, expect, and know you will get the love and relationship that you want regardless if your twin wants what you want or not?

 

So when this guy isn’t around or maybe on a work trip. I don’t miss him! It’s the most amazing feeling. I don’t miss him because I am secure in myself. I know I will see him soon. But mostly I know when he isn’t around I am not missing anything. I don’t depend on him for love and connection to source. There is no urgency to the relationship and reunions. I will get really excited to see him again but in the meantime then inbetween time, I am happy and living my full life. Took me years to get to this place but I did and so can you. :)

 

Does missing someone mean that you love them?

 

I almost felt something was wrong when I realized I didn’t miss him.

 

I compare every relationship to my twins and I thought something was wrong that I wasn’t yearning for this new guy when we are apart.

 

Missing someone just means you are attached to that person in a way that you believe you are less than when they aren’t around.

 

You are missing a piece of you. So of course you miss them. Of course the idea of losing them feels like cutting off your arm. (Breaking up with my twin felt like cutting off my arm).

 

So next time you are missing someone, check in with yourself and think about what you miss. How can you give that to yourself?

 

Maybe you miss how safe they made you feel. Or how they made you feel loved. How can you remind yourself that you are safe and an eternal being on a long journey, where nothing is happening to you but for you? Where all bad things are really blessings in disguise.

How can you love yourself more by not making yourself do things you don’t to do?

 

Think about your most secure attachments.

 

Maybe it’s with your family, cousins, best friends, etc. Chances are you don’t miss them everyday. You don’t pine over them and check their facebook every day.

 

You are confident you will see them again and that you will pick up right where you left off.

 

You are confident in your love for each other. You know they love other people but that doesn’t take away from their love for you. You are happy and excited to see them when you get together and you might be a little sad to leave them but you bounce back quickly.

 

Think of parents with empty nest syndrome. They have giving up parts of themselves over the years that used to make them whole. When the kids leave, they must rediscover their essence and joy. They must go within and not without.


That is a healthy attachment.