Should we live together first?

cohabitation, live together first, boyfriend, break up, marriage

Some gurus say living together first can be a bad thing for you as a woman.

I agree in that living together before marriage isn't a bad thing. Of course we all know now the data shows that people who live together before marriage are more likely to get divorced. But here are some great points that go beyond the argument that certain people who chose to live together before marriage are prone to divorce. 

This article wants you to really look at why you are living together. 

1. Make sure you are both going in with the same motivations and reasons. Are you moving in to test the relationship to see if it right for marriage? Or are you going to move in because you know it will be the next step to marriage? What is your partner thinking? It's even implied in the questions "should we live together first" first mean being before marriage? or before we decide to get married? Two different things. 

The author also points out how moving in together can be a big trap especially for women who traditionally make less than men. 

2. Once you move in together, it's really hard to move out. You have to break a lease, buy all new furniture, and sometimes worst of all go back to having roommates. Can you take that risk? Can you make that gamble? Do you know you are strong enough to get out of the situation? If not you probably shouldn't move in. You'll end up wasting precious years of your life or worse marry someone that isn't right for you. It's so hard to break up and move out if you know you'll have to end up in a crappier apartment or someone having less quality of life. 

Helpful hints:

Try not to sign a lease or be legally obligated to live with someone. 

Feel good about yourself and where your life is going so you are free to walk away. 

Keep an emergency fund and have a back up plan. 

Don't let the convenience of living together keep you from finding a different partner. 

Don't move in as a test. 

Talk about your reasons for moving in before you do. Guys are usually super honest. 

Be honest your partner and yourself about why you want to move in with them. 

If you need to save money one rent and bills, move in with a friend or find a different place. That should only be a small perk of living with a boyfriend, like free pretzels and ginger ale on a plane. 

What are your thoughts on moving in together?